It happens to me every year. It’s a seasonal disorder. It is called Springtime Madness. I hate it, but it never leaves without a useful contribution.

This is what happens: the days start getting long, the lambs start froliccing across the fields, and the trees start growing green once more. Simultaneously, my mind goes completely fucking crazy. Again, this happens every single year.

I start doubting myself, more than normal, at least. I start wondering about the future, and questioning the past. Initially, none of this is conscious, it’s just a nagging feeling just beneath the surface of my skull. Sometimes it’s almost crippling, I feel so numb that I start wondering what the hell exactly is going on.

So then some weeks follow where I annoy the girlfriend with questions of reality and the purpose of life. Then summer comes along and I forget about The Madness.

This happens every year, and it always leads to some kind of revelation. This year it’s all about my career, and how exactly I can squeeze money out of society without ripping my hair out.

I believe that the nature of the season, rebirth, etc. has a large part to play in the appearance of Springtime Madness. The  ending of the academic year also seems to be a factor.

While the experience itself is never very pleasant, it’s kind of cool how my mind automatically periodically sets aside some time to reflect on itself. It means that at least once a year I do some mental bookkeeping, and that seems like a pretty good thing.

UPDATE: Time has passed and the decision has been made. Want to know which phone I’ve chosen? Click here, my friend.

I’m in one of those situations our wonderful Western late-capitalist society allows: being able to renew my mobile contract and therefore getting a new phone on the cheap. God knows I hardly ever call, but today’s technology allows me to check my email and look at the terrible stats of my websites all at the same time. Naturally, those fancy touchscreen phones that are all the rage nowadays suit me, and it is for that reason that I have been using an HTC Hero for the past 18 months, renamed to “G2 Touch” by T-Mobile NL because they’re marketing morons:

Really looks like something that belongs in the 21st century, don’t it? Well, the first decade of it, at least. Yes, with its 320 × 480 resolution, 528 MHz CPU, and a whopping 288 MB RAM, this sure is a beast. Read More »

So it turns out reality can not be directly accessed or something, and because of that we all want to become our dads. Well I’m gonna disagree with Jacques “Crazy Eyes” Lacan and provide this direct access, so you can all avoid becoming an old man you can’t respect. I’m gonna do this by exposing you to the one thing I’m not (yet) arrogant about (until I start getting paid for it): my writing.

So without further adoo, here’s a story I wrote about a little pilgrimage on my writing site: A CROSS, THE UNIVERSE

Expect more to come in the future, because the semester will eventually wrap up and I have to write enough stories to bundle together and peddle as a two dollar ebook on amazon  so I can buy some more stuff I don’t need.

Look up at the logo of this website. See the text under it? Now look at the wall of text that is this post. It is long. It is one part of many. It is the closest you can come to a direct feed from my brain. It turns out my brain is a bit of a weird place. Enjoy!

Today I would like to tell the tale of the most remarkable man in the world. Unfortunately for the world, not everyone knows who he is, so I will do my best to make this story as clear as possible for all of you who do not have the blessing of knowing this man. I met this man a bit more than a year and a half ago. I confused him for an asshole who thinks he’s a comedian and constantly references ancient British radio comedy shows, but who everyone prefers to just call “that asshole.” I confused that asshole for the most remarkable man in the world because they are both white males seemingly in their early 20s with the same hair color. But I came to realize my mistake, and spoke with the most remarkable man in the world and learned that he is a die hard fan of Arrested Development. Please remember what this means when being just a casual fan means you are forced to enjoy anything Michael Cera stars in. But this is not the story of how I met this man.

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